Sunday, February 24, 2008

Scenario of a life that I want so much...

Here is the scenario of my life that I want... so much:

I want, first of all, a man that is just as happy to be with me, as I am to be with him…. No more, no less for either. I think he is also chivalrous and old-fashioned in his thinking and in his ways. He is a conservative man and believes in God, as I do. Our views and opinions would be very similar, but not quite exact, just enough to compliment each other and have completeness between us.

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I would like to have the kind of man that comes home from work and wants a kiss first thing, but to have his own wind down time for about 30-60 minutes while I’m fixing dinner. I won’t bother him during this time and he wont bother me, unless to come in and kiss my neck from behind and ask if he can help. Then we would all sit at the table together and eat, while discussing the day. He wants to know how my day went, as well as talk about his own. He will tell me things that I may not want to hear if it is in my best interest; And vice versa. Basically, just talk about whatever is on our minds, good, bad or indifferent.


After dinner one or both clean up, do dishes and put them away. I don’t mind to be the one that does it, as long as it’s done and not left a mess. In the evening when all is done, the kids homework, baths and tucked in; I would love to sit on the couch together and watch a movie or TV show, just relax from the day together. Some nights we would play a board game with the kids and I’d kick everyone’s ass... haha, ok, they can kick mine, either way. The nights when we just sit together and do nothing would be just as pleasing as the ones when we are doing something. Then when it’s time to go to bed, we would both go together. Ideally, I like to watch the news and then we'd go together. Not one before the other, if one of us is doing something, the other will wait to go to bed at the same time.

I’ve always wanted a porch with a swing so that we could sit together in the evenings and talk peacefully. Even if we did nothing but watch cars pass or enjoy silence together. I’m positively in love with this idea more than most anything. I will have this one day with the man of my dreams.

Not every evening would have to be spent together, if one had something to do, it would be fine. If he wanted to go throw darts or play pool with the guys one evening, would be fine, and if I wanted to go to a pampered chef party or play bingo with Connie in the evening, he wouldn’t throw a fit about it either. Our insecurities wouldn’t stop the other from having space and ‘me’ time.

Going places would be primarily together. We would plan weekend trips to Kings Island or Cedar Point with the kids every once in a while. Camping on some weekends through the summer, either with the kids or alone, we’d go fishing together even on weekday evenings, if we want. We would do things with our friends on the weekend sometimes, too, go out or stay in. Have friends over for dinner and cards or go to their house for the same. Have summer parties for a cook out, doesn’t have to be fancy or huge, just a simple cook out would be great.

In the fall, we would have a bonfire get together with our friends or even just the kids and their friends. We would go to football games together, band competitions and other school events that the kids are involved in. On a nice evening in the fall, we would build a fire outside for just the two of us and drink a beer for the hell of it, talk, laugh and enjoy being together. We would be a little cold, even with our sweatshirts on, while we looked up into the sky to just check out all of the stars and enjoying nature.

We would take a day trip down to southern Indiana to see the leaves turn and just drive around stopping at the overlooks to breathe in the fall air and the beauty of the autumn colors. While we are there, we would stop in the little shops and just browse, no need to buy anything, its just fun to be there. The fall festivals would also be something that we would both enjoy. Feast of the Hunters Moon, Tipton pork festival, Strawberry festival or similar festivals are my favorites and would be his too. We could go to the Colts games together making a day of it or just stay home and watch them on TV.

The holidays would hold our own traditions with friends and family. We would both go with the other to family events, even if it sort of sucked, we would still go for the respect factor. Neither one of us would ever stay home from family functions of the others'. There is a certain level of respect in going with each other, I would have it for him and he would also have it for me. Some evenings close to Christmas, it would be nice if we were to take drives just to look at Christmas lights and decorations, maybe listen to Christmas music in the car, if it is something that he likes also. We would always be together on New Year’s Eve, never celebrate it separately. We would always kiss at midnight to signify our upcoming new year together. There would be no where in the world that either of us would rather be.

He will advise me and help me make decisions, not make them for me. We would decide important matters together, not one for the other, and not without discussion. If I asked him for help, he would give it, as I would help him in any way that he needed as well. If I told him that I would like to start my own business, he would say ‘great amount of ambition involved, babe, I respect your courage’ and not ‘wtf are you thinking, that’s a foolish idea and I’ll be the first one to tell you "I told you so", if it ever fails… and secretly wish for it to fail. He will be proud to tell his friends and family of my decision. They would all support my drive to make it happen.

He will treat me like an absolute lady. He will tell me that I’m beautiful when I wake up even though I know I look like poop. He will be in love with who I am inside and what I look like on the outside would just be a bonus, if he likes what I look like. He also will tell me that he loves me daily, more than once a day. When we are with friends, he would never intentionally embarrass me or talk badly about me. He would never make me the butt of a joke and cause people to laugh, knowing what an ‘embarrassed’ type of person that I am already. He would make a point not to embarrass me. He will only speak highly of me, when we are together with friends or even if he is alone with his own friends.

He will appreciate and love me for who I am, and not just for what I do for him. He wouldn't sit me on a shelf until he wanted to parade me around like some sort of trophy. He would feel like I am a prize, but not treat me like one. There is a difference.

He would yell "Catarina" off the side of a boat and jump in the ocean for me, come and find me if I left, and would say "I choose us" because nothing would split us up.

During any given time, he would be protecting me in every meaning of the word. We would protect each other. He would have my back and I would have his, over all else. I would always feel like he was on my side in life and he would genuinely stand up for me and want to protect me. We would feel safe together and secure. He would feel that it was his place to be my protector and actually enjoy being in that role. He would take care of me in every aspect of our lives, as I would show him respect and appreciation in return.

Oh yeah and I’m pretty sure that he will have one green eye and one blue.
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If these things seem to be pointing to any specific person, it would be a pure coincidence, because these hopes and dreams are all mine that I've had my whole life, which have been somewhat dashed throughout the years in my marriage. It just happens to be a fact that RT seems to have exactly what I have been looking for… or someone in this world has it, I know. Maybe I just haven't found him yet... or maybe I have ;) --- idk

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